I read about a mum who was reported to social services because she was too strict. Having read the article I wondered if the word 'strict' was the right word to use. You see, strict means ‘strongly limiting someone's freedom to behave as they wish, or likely to severely punish someone if they do not obey.
It seemed to me that she was training her children to take responsibility for themselves where it was appropriate. Her son was going on a camping trip and was responsible for getting all his equipment together. They loaded the car and travelled an hour to where the camp was taking place. On arriving he discovered that he had left his sleeping bag behind. Now I am not exactly sure what time of the year it was, but it was not warm. Another boy asked him when his mum was getting back with his sleeping bag, and he told him that she was not coming back, and he would have to do without it.
Here’s the question: Good parent or bad parent?
The answer depends on how you look at it. On the one hand, if he was going to adversely suffer, then you could say ‘bad parent’. But he was not going to unduly suffer. He might have got cold and even been miserable, but he would be okay. Looked at in another way, this was a parent who was teaching her son valuable lessons for the future.
In my book, ‘Sixteen Years a Child, Sixty Years an Adult’ I point out the necessity of teaching our children the ‘Law of Consequences”.
A consequence, according to the Collins dictionary, is ‘a result or effect, an unpleasant result, an inference reached by reasoning’ or ‘the ability to assess the result of the actions we take’.
So what did this lad learn? He told the reporter that he never forgot a piece of important equipment again. I’d say that was smart parenting, especially as all the children also expressed great love and appreciation for their mum.
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