The news is often reporting that children around 12-16 years old are out at night stealing cars, then ram-raiding shops to steal whatever they can. Others rob shops threatening violence. One such robber had a machete and attacked a shop worker who needed hospital treatment. Other out-of-control youths pick on innocent fellow teenagers waiting at bus stops. One girl was severely beaten. Now I know that this is a very small percentage of young people perpetuating such crimes. That of course does not make it any the less disturbing.
The problem stems from two failures, parenting and environment.
Environment:
In London, they built an award-winning complex of housing which consisted of over 2700 dwellings. It was built with walkways linking each block. These walkways created places where young people could hang out together. This also enabled vandalism, graffiti and eventually intimidation and even robbing of residents using the walkways. The walkways then became a warren of escape passages for criminals seeking to evade the police. A teacher friend went to teach at the school in this complex. He lasted a year and by the end of which he was suffering psychological and physical burnout because there was no control as the pupils were so disruptive. He was a strong man with a commanding presence yet he never fully gained control. This meant that the kids who wanted to learn never stood a chance of doing so.
Parenting:
Crime and vandalism created an environment in which parenting became very difficult. Many families gave up because it was easier to just go with the flow of the environment in which they were surrounded.
Despite this environment, there were families where parents resisted the pull of the crime-filled, rebellious, vandalizing atmosphere which encouraged them to give in and allow their children to just go with the flow. These parents held on to their children and would not let them slide into the disruptive, degenerative atmosphere that surrounded them.
How did they do this?
It is difficult to be specific because each family is different but there are underpinning principles that will enable children to thrive even in such difficult circumstances. Here are three basic examples.
1. Parents themselves have moral principles regarding what is right and wrong. These principles are passed on from day one in how parents conduct their own lives.
2. Parents insist on basic standards of behaviour in their children, especially concerning interpersonal relationships with others, both other children and adults. Once again this happens from day one.
3. Parents guard their children from the environmental pull in every way they can by continually teaching them the law of consequences.
For every action, there is a consequence either good or bad.
For parents to succeed they need to educate themselves on the principles of parenting which will give them the knowledge of how children develop both morally and educationally.
My Book, ‘Sixteen Years a Child, Sixty Years and Adult’ has the premise that childhood is the training school for adulthood. What is put into the child remains in the adult. The book is inspired by the Biblical proverb:
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Why not order a copy today for pa
rents who you think might benefit, visit my website where you can order a copy.
www.bobcheesman books.com
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